Why do you love?

Perhaps the idea that I am not capable of love is foolish, naïve, childish, attention seeking? Perhaps it is a frame that I put around the feelings of neglect and abandonment I feel. Not just from past experiences, but in a very real sense by society. One of those of us who, for whatever reason, has felt left behind, unseen. And when we started this journey together in December, when I was invited to write the muse, I chose the first chapter to be Glow. Inspired by the lights of December, the need for warmth as the nights were drawing in, the lighting of the candles. But it was reading about the torchbearer journey in Naomi’s story written a year previously that brought the word glow to me. That story was about seeing something for the first time. Seeing in someone you love everything that you have been fighting not to see about yourself. And so being inspired to light your own torch and finally see yourself.

“The light of love is always in us, no matter how cold the flame. It is always present, waiting for the spark to ignite, waiting for the heart to awaken”.

Bell Hooks

The story of the torchbearer was about a revelation which took nine years to be seen. A year later we started to write a winter’s tale. So ten years had passed, in the blink of an eye, just like in The Winter’s Tale. A decade which brings us here to a time when we are all still asking ourselves, “what just happened?” and in all of the chaos… trying to find a reason to love. But, perhaps if we took ourselves out into nature, if we allowed birth and rebirth to manifest – maybe the glow still sparkled, hopefully the senses were heightened, maybe we didn’t feel the need to abandon all that we were in search for something new and that, “possibly, maybe, probably, love” was the home inside of us all along.

“Through the eyes and I sparkle, senses growing keen

Taste your love along the way, see your feathers preen

Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn't have to grow

We are eagles of one nest, the nest is in our soul” 

Led Zeppelin – Ten Years Gone

How do you love?

Love for me has often channelled itself through music. Melody, lyrics, harmony, beats, rhythm. I am intrigued by the fact that we all love different kinds of music. What is it about some songs or types of music that can really move one but just be noise to another? There must be something in that. There must be something that lives inside of us that is moved or not by the sounds we hear. Cultural, spiritual or other it is hard to deny there is something intrinsic here. For me, when I am connected to musical exploration I feel like I can love and for such a long time I only listened to what I thought others liked. The Collective Energies has, for me, like many others in the community, brought music back into my sphere in a way that I can explore it, work with it, feel it, channel it, sing it, dance to it, share it. Love it.

“When we work with love we renew the spirit; that renewal is an act of self-love, it nurtures our growth. It’s not what you do but how you do it.”

Bell Hooks

Where do you love?

What space do you occupy when you love and where do you feel it? I sometimes think that I can physically feel the ache of love. Maybe that ache is the loss of a loved one, or a lost version of ourselves. We have explored grief in the writing of this story and the idea that grief co-exists with joy. And I also imagine that grief is born out of love. So if joy is to life as grief is to death, the cycle of which we constantly revolve around and within, then surely love is the prevailing energy binding all of this. We may sometimes be hurt by love but hurt is not the same as harm. Harm prevails only in the absence of love. That hurt we sometimes feel is just part of the space, a feeling that is often born out of the loss of joy we might think we are entitled to in the scope of love. Love in the rain, love in the snow, love in the dark, love in the light, love in a meadow, love by the sea, love in a look, love in a movement, love in a song, love in the depths of your very being…. We can be there and we can feel it all. I know it. You must know it too.

 Choose Love.

“We do not have to love. We choose to love…When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another’s spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive. Love and abuse cannot coexist.”

Bell Hooks

When do you love?

There is always time to love and ultimately that is what this story is about. We do not have to wait for the sun to come, however long winter has felt to us. And although this winter’s tale has been throughout the darkest months and we may feel impatient for the coming of the light, we don’t need something external to remind us of the love that is inside. Whether that is a thing we do, a place we go to or a person we know - there is not a specific time and place, a set of stars that have to align for love to be. Love comes from within you so take time to feel it, at least once, every day. Be creative with it. Dream a dream, read a poem, sing a song, dance a dance. A morning love, an afternoon love, a night-time love, “A Sunday kind of love”. Maybe love is a great gift to others, definitely it is the best gift you can give to yourself.

Move, feel, be, LOVE.

"Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape."

Bell Hooks

An invitation to return to love

I have always written letters and postcards to friends and family. Sometimes spilling woes, of course, but often sending love. Taking the time to write to someone you know, or even someone you don’t, always feels like love. This is the month of Valentines, a feast of friendship. Sharing of flowers and food, nature’s most flirtatious and nourishing bounty. I invite you to write your own personal ending to this tale, but make it an ending you care enough to share with another. Write to them, tell them, show them your love. A poem, a song, a story, your own words or a heady mix of all of this. Send this love letter with a fullness of heart from a place of honesty and a place of meaning. And as we draw our winter’s tale to a close with the final words being the ones you share with another we can be ready for whatever comes next knowing that this community holds a space for all of us to be and to love.

“Redeemed and restored, love returns us to the promise of everlasting life. When we love we can let our hearts speak”

Bell Hooks